I haven't written for a few days because I've been feeling grumpy....in fact i think my emotions have been reflective of all the seven dwarfs personalities!! Michelle flew home on Wednesday night, I was sad to see her go but also realise its a step closer to coming home. Her stay here was great, the perfect support and shopping companion, love you sis!
Thursday moring I woke in a lot of pain and could hardly move. I had difficulity participating in physio. One of the Drs examined me and said there was swelling, so presciibed anti-inflamatory medication and a pain killer, I googled the medication but couldn't find an explanation on them, but to be honest i was in so much pain i didn't care. Friday morning I was only slightly better, my physio session was minimal and I still wasn't able to practice walking. I went to yoga class but only did a few stretches. I'm still getting my injections morning and night, 2 in the morning and one in the evening.
Dr Geeta came to see me on Friday afternoon. I tried to explain as best I could the pain I was feeling, with out sounding like a whimp! I asked her if its common for MD patients to be in so much discomfort. She said to a degree because we feel everything unlike the spinal cord injured patients, but she added, 'you are frail' then smiled at me.....told me to just rest and by Monday I should be fine. I was processing what she said, specifically 'frail'....i think my ego was dented as i just couldn't let it go, I may have driven Nicki a bit crazy as we'd be watching TV, then all of a sudden I'd come out with....'I am so not frail'! I just felt so pathetic.....think I need to work on letting go ha ha
Saturday at physio I was still in pain and couldn't perform th exercises as well as i wanted, i became quite frustrated and started to cry. My therapist was worried thinking I was in pain, which I was but more than that it was the pain was stopping me from doing what i wanted to do. I'm very aware that I'm on a time frame and I don't want to lose a second. I dont have time to be sitting aroung resting and in pain!!! gggrrrr! Saturday afternoon I decided to have a sleep and watch a movie. Around 7pm we had a phone call advising us that more bombs had gone off in Delhi, 8 km from us, to stay in during the evening and avoid markets on sunday.
Nicki and I slept in on Sunday and took the morning slowly. Around lunch time we took a taxi to the local shopping mall. The security checks were more intense than previously due to the bomb blasts. The shopping centre was very busy. Nicki and I enjoyed coffee and some chocolate mud cake smothered in warm chocolate sauce and icecream...ummmm....then i returned a pair of jeans that didn't fit haha...geee Claire..wonder why!
Todays Monday and my physio session was better, even though the pain in my lower back is still there. Two injections this morning as usual. Nicki has braved the streets to get us take away coffee. Shes counting down the sleeps, 4 to go now until she returns home, so there will be a changing of the guard this Friday.
Thanks again for you supportive comments and emails....it really helps xx
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13 comments:
"And this too shall pass"; "I'm moving onto bigger and better things"...2 phrases I use to reiterate for weeks on end in RPH burns as I watched the second hand pass from midnite to 6 am... night in, night out...
btw, i had spinal injections 11 months ago, still hurts like shit :-)
oop's, that should read "this is only temporary, I'm moving onto bigger and better things"
Mmmmmm ... what to write today???? ... I hope these entries are keeping you somewhat entertained ... when I write them, I tend to think about the things that I would like to see or here from people if I had to deal with some serious stuff ... I hope my line of thinking works!!!
Don't know if you've studied personality types before ... but you sound soooooo Choleric in your latest entry (go!, go!, go! ... aaaaaaand frustrated to stop!) ... nice angle on the comfort food, lol, forcing a change of jeans size!! (awwww) ...
Spent the long weekend driving around (I reeeeeealy do love driving its my kind of therapy) ... and going to the party I mentioned ... It was fun, and I - yes I alone!! (at least out of our crowd) picked Hawthorn to defeat Geelong in mortal combat :)) ...
By the way ... I'll say it for you "You are so NOT frail" ... may be a little overdone on the day though ... remember recovery is just as inmportant as excersize! ;) ...
My transformation goes well atm dropped 2K's and going! All the best Claire ... and those in Team India, my prayers are with you.
Ciao-now-brown-cow xxx
Rog:)
hey bear
When we are weakest God is strongest.
so welcome to another club yes you are frail and so am i , i think the sooner we accept we are weak and broken only then can jesus Fix us, so YEY
Congrats on processing that one i still am 38 years down the track
ha love you lil sis and let the healing continue isn't this why we search and try and climb and conquer and fall and fail and cry and gather and try and succeed and continue on the cycle ???
thanks for having the courage to let so many people along this part of your journey to voice their support and thoughts you are a trooper...
Love Simon
Hi Claire, in my book it is ok to rail (is that the right spelling?) at everything including God - He gets it and it is so ok with him 'cos He knows our heart. so, do what you have to so you can get through and know that He is there always holding onto you, and we are too.
Your journey matters in millions of ways that you cannot see so at least know that, love to you Jan
hang in there bear!...stay strong!...get up there where you belong!...and stay there girl!
"we battle not against flesh and blood"
"but against principalities in higher domains"
get up there and beat em!
hayden x
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow.
You may succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds no doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.
Lots of love to you Claire from Jackie xxxxx
Hi Claire - this is a pain in the butt! John is trying to teach me how this works and we're ending up going backwards & forwards. Anyway thinking about u day by day and my love and prayers are with u. Keep smiling my beautiful girl
luv ya
mammabear
Hi Claire
I hope things are looking up. I loved Jackie's poem and hope it spoke to you.
You are very much in our thoughts and prayers.
Margot & Keith
Claire, your painful journey towards healing reminds me so much of the suffering Jesus went through to teach us that He understands how we feel when we are at our lowest. How alone we feel in our pain as He did on the cross, and how desparate we can be to get up and live life free from suffering. In his last days Opa looked up at the cross overlooking his hospital bed and he said to me, "He suffered much more than I am " and I felt humbled by my father's faith in Christ. Remember that Jesus carries us when we need Him most (the poem of the "Footsteps" comes to mind) but His promise to be faithful when we give Him our burdens are there for you and me. Darling, rest in Him as He carries you through these days and know that we are all with you in our thoughts and prayers. When I read about your struggle I can feel some of your pain. Jesus can feel it all. Lots of love, Aunty Mariette x
hey Bear
just had dinner and a drink with NIKKI and she says HI
hope the spinal pain has subsided and you are well..
I Guess at some stage you will sit back in pain and wonder is it all worth it ....... questions ,.. questions
that only you can ask and of course answer.....
I love ya and miss ya and hope that you are coming closer to christ through this pain... xxxxxxKeep praying as only he can heal you >>>XXXXX
Simon and Katie
PS
YOU ROCK
YAY BABY
Hi Claire,
I have been following your blog with great interest.
I hope you have had some relief from the pain in your back since your last entry.
I just read your book yesterday and was so touched by your story and that of your family.
On doing some web surfing I found this little poem by a 6 year old boy who also had MD, though a different type to you:
FACING THE FUTURE.
Every journey begins
With but a small step.
And every day is a chance
For a new, small step
In the right direction.
Just follow your Heartsong.
by Mattie Stepanek.
. . . .and it made me think of you taking it one day at a time towards your goal!
Claire, I hope you find your heartsong!
Lots of wishes for a terrific outcome and lots of love for you to get through one day at a time!
Narida XOXOXOX
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